You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
