i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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