You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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