yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
there is puke in my bra ... again
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
