her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
