Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
