either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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