first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
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she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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