No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
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Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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