He is like the real live version of the state fair..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
