my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
