This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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