You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
my liver is dry heaving
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
