dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just high enough for therapy.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just gargled with NyQuil
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
