The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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