if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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