im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
