And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
