I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
