I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
