i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
