she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
