I need to stop coming to work sober
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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