Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
