I think im going to throw up on grandma
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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