the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
