I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize