We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
These tits shall not be calmed
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
