yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
