that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he shaved USA in his pubs
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the knife in your bed.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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