when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
