Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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