girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
