don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
