Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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