Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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