theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
In America we eat man semen.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
