sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
