Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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