to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
