TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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