In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
