in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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