Non-Jews are for practice
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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