I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
