cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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