some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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