You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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