Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
