wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
