you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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