I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I cut my penus on the lid.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
