Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My ATM looks so different sober.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
