I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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