Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
