Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
